


The Politics of Popularity

by zoeticValidation



Series: This is the Thunderdome [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alana is mentioned but not really here, Broken Hearts, Brooke deserves better, But with more depth, Cheating, Chloe and Brooke probably beta each other's phanfiction, Chloe needs to open up about her feelings, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jenna is the group mom, So does Jake, This is mostly about Chloe and Brooke and stereotypical white girl problems, Zoe's gonna be semi popular in this au, another goddamn texting fic, i'll add dates and times later when i feel like it, that doesn't mean they actually like each other romantically tho, y'know chloe and jake, zoe is bi af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeticValidation/pseuds/zoeticValidation
Summary: A series of text conversations involving Chloe Valentine, Brooke Lohst, and Jenna Rolan as they attempt to navigate sophomore year.





	The Politics of Popularity

**Author's Note:**

> \- look guys im not a popular person at school  
> \- so this is what i think popular people do  
> \- it seems superficial and shallow i know, but isn't highschool popularity inherently hollow and meaningless?  
> \- the inner machinations behind the politics of popularity will forever be a mystery  
> \- i really like the idea of zoe and chloe and company becoming friends in sophomore year before shit goes down  
> \- heather chandler is a junior in the movie so i assumed all the heathers were in the same grade  
> \- i'm already aware this probably won't be as liked as the other one's because it focuses on the girls for once  
> \- which is bullshit, but it's reality  
> \- hope you enjoy

\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] commenced a groupchat at 19:20 [04/09/16] --  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] named groupchat lets get thiss partay stARTED!!! \--  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] added wickedlyPopular [WP] to the chat! --  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] added froyoPrimadonna [FP] to the chat! --  
  
NO: who’s ready 2 DESTROY the heathers at their own game this year?!?!?!?  
NO: We r, thats who  
WP: we better be, chandler is going down  
FP: Yeah totally! C:  
WP: alright ladies, freshman year is fucking over, so we gotta switch tactics if we’re going to assert ourselves!!  
WP: rolan, what dirt do you have on them??  
NO: Welp, hbic apparently has a secret obsession with corn nuts from 7-11.  
NO: yellow heather hadd a mEsSy break up recently, but I don’t have any deets  
FP: Wait, what do we need all this for? :?  
WP: look brooke, if we want to take down the heathers, we’re going to need to use secrets against them  
WP: anything else???  
NO: heather 3 might actually not be named heather  
FP: That’s impossible! Her name is Heather on all the school rosters! :O  
NO: i know, but what if they all took the name heather in liek kindergarten or smthing??  
NO: Now everyone just remembers them as the Heathers????  
NO: Maybe, their real names were lost long ago from the transition from elementary to middle, and again from middle to high  
NO: new teachs, and their names were entered as heather on the rosters, so nobody knows their names  
WP: jenna rolan, that is some bullshit  
NO: look chloe, i came out here to have a good time and i’m honestly just feeling so aTTAkt rn  
FP: :L  
WP: idgaf  
WP: you know what we need to get an edge on them???  
NO: what?  
FP: What? :l  
WP: we need a fourth member!!!! >:)  
NO: wOT???//?  
FP: WHAT??!??!? :OOOO  
FP: But... why???? L:  
WP: it’ll give us a little leg up, we’ll be the more powerful group, etc. etc  
WP: seriously tho, it might be fun!!!  
NO: But, _WHOM_ IS WORTHYYY???  
FP: What about Martha? c:  
WP: eww no  
NO: Hey!!! don’t be like that, that’s my sis youre talking about!  
WP: look jenna, nothing against martha personally, it’s just that she already gets picked on enough  
WP: integrating her into the popular crowd just wouldn’t make sense  
WP: she’s already got a good friend in valerie or whatever her name is  
WP: plus she’s a junior  
FP: Oh so I guess Alana Beck is out too? :L  
WP: yeah, she’s too... preppy  
NO: fine no martha or other juniors  
FP: What about Christine Canigula? :l  
WP: theater girl??? ummm NO  
WP: i’m pretty sure there’s something messed up with her anyway  
WP: it’s gotta be someone without a reputation, a totally blank slate  
FP: Madeline Blanc? C:  
NO: lol no, you heard the lady she just said no reputation  
NO: and blancs known for sinking pretty low in order to get laid  
NO: What about Mary Bolkonskaya???  
NO: wait no, she’s already kinda pushing the devout innocent christian girl angle.  
NO: we shouldn’t corrupt her like that  
NO: she’s PureTM  
FP: WAIT I’VE GOT IT CCCCC:  
WP: who is it???  
FP: Zoe Murphy!! L:  
NO: Oh right her  
NO: yeah, she’s pretty cool in jazz band  
NO: does that count as a rep tho?  
WP: no no, i get what you mean brooke  
WP: jazz band, even as a reputation, is pretty respected in this stupid school  
WP: plus she plays lead guitar, which is pretty cool by itself  
WP: she’s fairly pretty too considering she doesn’t wear makeup or anything  
WP: good thinking chloe, she’s just what we need!! :)  
NO: but isnt her brother that psychopathic junior guy  
NO: martha told me that he threw a pRINTER at a teacher in 2nd fucking grade!!!  
WP: true, but thisll give zoe the chance to stop being associated as the psycho’s sister  
WP: she should thank us honestly  
FP: Yeah! L:  
NO: alrigHTY then :))  
NO: who’s gonna recruit her??  
WP: umm, how about you brooke????  
FP: Me? Why? :l  
WP: you’re like, the nicest one, and super approachable, she’ll probably find you the most relatable or something  
WP: we don’t want jenna to scare her off with her whole gossip reputation and i’m self aware enough to know that i’m kind of a bitch sometimes  
FP: Aww, Chlo that’s so nice of you to say!!! CC’:  
FP: Okay I’ll talk to her. Does anyone know her handle? :?  
NO: lemme go thru the grapevine real quick  
NO: it’s indigoHipster  
WP: how’d you get that so fast  
NO: i sent out a group text on the discord w/ all my girlfrands and got a response from a person who asked alana beck and alana knows connor’s handle from a project or something and she _ALSO_ got zoe’s handle from connor.  
NO: connections are everything how many times to i have to tell u this???  
WP: alright brooke, pass that torch!!!  
FP: I won’t let you down!!! LLL:  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] left the groupchat at 19:47 [04/09/16] --  
  
NO: Awww, u 2 are sickeningly fluffy and adorbs 2 the max  
WP: shut up jenna, we’re just good friends is all  
NO: good friends more like girlf riends  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] left the groupchat at 19:48 [04/09/16] --  
  
NO: drama queen  
  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] disbanded lets get thiss partay stARTED!!! at 19:49 [04/09/16] --

* * *

\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] began texting indigoHipster [IH] at 19:55 [04/09/16] --  
  
FP: Hi!! c:  
IH: ...  
IH: hi?  
FP: I’m Brooke Lohst!!! C:  
IH: im zoe but im gonna take a wild guess and assume you knew that already  
FP: Yeah! I just wanted to say that I’ve seen your performances in jazz band before, and you’re really good! CC:  
IH: wait really? I didnt realize I had fans who knew my texing handle  
IH: youve got like 30 seconds to explain yourself before I block you  
IH: nothing personal or anything  
FP: Oh right I bet this seems pretty weird :/  
FP: Seriously I’m in your grade, and I think you're cool! L:  
FP: I got your handle from my friend Jenna Rolan, who got it from a girl who got it from Alana Beck who got it from your brother :l  
FP: I promise I’m not a stalker or whatever! :c  
IH: ...  
IH: okay, your story checks out  
IH: I just checked and apparently Alana does know you somewhat  
FP: Nice! Anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted to get frozen yogurt with me and my friends this saturday at the mall’s pinkberry. :?  
IH: why  
IH: we barely know each other  
FP: I know, but I told them all about your whole jazz thing and they really wanna meet you! :/  
IH: you know what?  
IH: sure  
IH: its not like im doing anything this saturday anyway  
FP: Cool! See you there! C:  
  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] ceased texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] at 20:05 [04/09/16] --

* * *

\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] commenced a groupchat at 09:09 [11/9/16] --  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] named groupchat Pinkberry! L: \--  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] added wickedlyPopular [WP] to the chat! --  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] added nearlyOmniscient [NO] to the chat! --  
  
FP: You know, I don’t know what I was expecting from Zoe, but she’s actually really cool!! C:  
FP: I mean, she’s kind of guarded and defensive though...  
NO: ya she’s kinda cold sometimes but thats probs a product of living with an actual psycho  
WP: yeah she’s alright but really, who orders plain original at pinkberry???  
WP: fucking hipsters that’s who  
NO: Ya duh we already knew she was a hipster from her handle.  
NO: good newz is that that isn’t public info-mation  
NO: also chloe, did you have to grill the poor girl with so many questions??  
WP: hush  
WP: think of it like screening  
WP: we don’t just let anyone into our friend group  
WP: but yeah she checks out  
WP: she’s not weird, she’s pretty, she’s not fucking dumb, and she’s not too soft either  
WP: she’s the perf 4th member  
WP: just wait til chandler sees all 4 of us populating the table  
FP: Hey, we’re not just doing this to spite the Heathers right? :c  
FP: Zoe’s a nice person and it wouldn’t be fair to just use her to be more popular :L  
WP: look, i was just talking strictly business  
WP: actually becoming friends is a bonus option  
NO: Chloe, ur bitchiness is showing  
WP: >:(  
WP: fine whatever, she’ll become a friend at some point  
FP: Oh my gosh but like, did you SEE her hair!! Those indigo streaks are so cute!!! CCCX  
FP: I wanna dye my hair now!!!  
NO: well i was already thinkin of gettin some red highlights, wanna come!!??!?!?  
FP: YESSSS CCCC:  
FP: I’ll swing by your place and take you up on that ;l  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] left the groupchat at 09:16 --  
  
NO: and then there were 2  
NO: altho i bet you wanted brooke 2 b the 1 left w/ you huh??? ;;;;;;;3  
WP: jenna rolan  
WP: it’s time to STOP  
WP: i don’t like brooke!!!!  
NO: Bruh.  
WP: okay fine maybe i do  
WP: but i bet EVERYONE fucking knows that now, nosy bitch!!  
NO: hey, you’re being mean :(  
NO: this is jennaphobia  
WP: ugh do you ever stop joking!?  
NO: look, i didn’t tell anybody ok? dont get your obviously victoria’s secret panties in a twist babe  
NO: im a gossip not a fucking snitch  
NO: But real talk, just tell her already!!!!  
WP: no!!!  
WP: i already hurt her enough as her friend, i’d be the worst girlfriend ever  
NO: awww nuuuu :(((  
NO: stop being so hard on yourself  
NO: u r a hot, confident, popular lesbian. she’d totally dig you. i bet youd be an awesome gf. Youd shed your bitchy facade and become sickeningly sweet and domestick as fUCK  
WP: wait you think i’m hot  
NO: i was being objective duh  
NO: now come on, wanna grab starbucks with me and share your deepest darkest secrets?  
WP: you know, for some reason, i’m getting the tiniest feeling that that was seriously not reassuring  
NO: I don’t have to put up with ur sass young lady  
NO: now come get superfluous overpriced coffee with me  
WP: yeah fine  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] left the groupchat at 09:22 [11/09/16] --  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] renamed groupchat HAAA brooke forgot to restrict permissions \--  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] renamed groupchat i guess it’s my job to get these losers together now \--  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] disbanded i guess it’s my job to get these losers together now at 09:25 [11/09/16] --

* * *

\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] commenced a groupchat at 11:53 [01/10/16] --  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] named groupchat operation heather takedown >:) \--  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] added froyoPrimadonna [FP] to the chat! --  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] added nearlyOmniscient [NO] to the chat! --  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] added indigoHipster [IH] to the chat! --  
  
IH: what is this?  
WP: okay i’m not gonna lie to you, we wanted you to be the fourth member of our friend group  
FP: Chloe! You don’t have to be so blunt like that! :L  
IH: WHAT!?  
IH: SO YOURE JUST USING ME AS SOME KIND OF LEVERAGE IN YOUR STUPID POPULARITY CONTEST?!?!?  
NO: look, i don’t speak for chloe or anything, but me and brooke actually just wanna be your friend cuz u’re cool  
WP: hey!!! it’s not like i don’t want to be your friend, i’m just so sick of the fucking heathers  
IH: i knew i shouldnt have trusted this  
FP: Look, we weren’t trying to be mean or anything! C’mon, don’t you wanna be known for something other than being your brother’s sister??? :l  
IH: ...  
NO: jeeeez this is what we were talkin bout  
NO: we just wanna be ur friends so you can finally chill  
NO: the whole heathers take down thing is totes secondary to the eternal friendship dealio  
IH: ......  
WP: come ON, you’re making such a big deal out of nothing!!! think of it this way, you’ll be popular, you’ll finally be known as your own person, and you get some cool friends out of it  
WP: isn’t that basically the whole point of sophomore year anyway???  
IH: I dont care about popularity  
NO: sOoOoO??? it’s not like you HAVE to care, it doesnt mean it’s still not cool tho  
NO: I mean, i wasnt “popular” until freshman year when chloe and brooke befriended me and i became the gossip queen  
NO: i swEAR hipsters always have stereotypes about popular people, but tbh its mostly bullshit  
FP: Yeah!! All being popular really means is being well known!! It’s pretty fun, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything we do c:  
WP: also, don’t tell me you don’t hate the heathers either  
WP: taking them down is an added bonus  
WP: cmonnnnn you know you want to ;)  
IH: you guys are really convincing when you work together did you know that?  
IH: ... if I say yes to the whole friends thing, promise that I wont have to do crap like skipping school to go shopping or sleeping with a different guy every week?  
NO: gotchu  
FP: Of course not!! L:  
WP: duh, you don’t even have to hang with us outside of school if you don’t want to  
IH: no it’s cool  
IH: the pinkberry thing was kinda fun  
NO: look sister, gimme a y/n  
IH: yes, ill join your little clique  
FP: AWESOME C:  
WP: i knew you’d make the right choice >:)  
IH: look dont make me regret it immediately  
IH: alright guys, I gotta go, see you at school  
  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] left the groupchat at 12:06 [01/10/16] --  
  
WP: well that went well  
NO: mission success!!! bOOSH  
NO: cant wait to tell everyone  
FP: I’m guessing everybody knows by now :l  
NO:  
NO:  
NO: NOW everybody knows!!! ;)  
WP: damn you work fast rolan  
NO: why thank you <3 information is my passion  
NO: if i know anything about elizabeth, she probably outsourced and told her boyfriend dustin by now, so it’s within some of the guys’ circles  
NO: hell, at this point jake prolly knows  
NO: It’ll reach the heathers within the hour  
NO: Now, if you dont mind, me and martha are going to watch a movie that I picked for once  
NO: baiiiii  
  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] left the groupchat at 12:10 [01/10/16] --  
  
FP: Hey are you doing anything later? :l  
WP: umm no, why?  
FP: Well uh, my sisters are going to binge watch Orange is the New Black, but the only thing I really like about that show is the theme song :/  
FP: I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to go check out this new boutique that opened up at the mall :?  
WP: sure!!  
WP: i guess you’re going to swing by with your mom’s old car?  
FP: You know it ;l  
FP: See you in ten CC:  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] left the groupchat at 12:13 [01/10/16] --  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] disbanded operation heather takedown >:) at 12:13 [01/10/16] --

* * *

\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] began texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--  
  
WP: hey brooke  
WP: jake’s being a dick  
WP: distract me  
FP: Aww :C  
FP: I’m guessing you guys are off right now then?? :/  
WP: yeah, but i don’t wanna talk about that right now  
WP: he’ll be back  
FP: Okay...  
FP: Have you been keeping up with Dan and Phil??? CCC:  
FP: The boys are so domestic this year C’:  
WP: okay but like, whats the actual probability that phan is real??  
FP: The smart money's on them already being together L;  
WP: true, true, but i want NUMBERS brooke!!!!  
WP: solid evidence, relationship timeline, percentages, all that shit  
FP: If you want solid evidence, there are only two words Chlo... l:  
FP: Valentine’s <3  
FP: Day <33333  
WP: NONO shoossshhshshshs we don’t speak of that  
WP: 2012 never happened remember?????  
FP: Oh right! Lips are sealed! :l  
FP: Okay but have you noticed that in every pinof video dan gets progressively paler and his hair gets curlier and the videos themselves get progressively more and more gay? cccc;  
WP: hollllyyyy shit how did i not notice!!!!  
WP: i have to frickin rewatch all the pinofs now don’t i???  
WP: fuck it, time for a dan and phil marathon  
FP: Wait I wanna come! :C  
WP: yeah yeah come over it’s cool  
FP: Do you want me to pick froyo too? CC:  
WP: yes please i’ll love you forever thanks brooke!!!! <333  
FP: ...  
FP: Haha, yeah alright, see you then.  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] ceased texting wickedlyPopular [WP] \--  
  
WP: wait a sec, since when do you type out your laughs?  
WP: also you forgot to punctuate your sentence with an emoji...  
WP: you better believe we’re going to talk about whatever’s up with you when you get here, no way out of it!!

* * *

\-- jocularKingpin [JK] began texting wickedlyPopular [WP] \--  
  
JK: Look babe.  
JK: I’m so sorry for saying you don’t mean anything to me.  
JK: Because you mean so much to me, even though we might not love each other like we should, i need you.  
WP: oh yeah?? for what, a quick fuck??!  
JK: Hey don’t be like that!  
JK: I know i’m not exactly what you’re looking for either!  
JK: We can’t always get what we want okay!  
JK: Sometimes friends with benefits is all we’re gonna get.  
JK: I’ve just accepted that.  
JK: So yeah, i need you so i can pretend i’m a normal fucking person, but don’t pretend you don’t need me either.  
WP: ...  
WP: whatever fuckwad  
WP: why do we do this to ourselves  
JK: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we don’t dig each other in the way a couple should  
WP: we’ve gotta stop doing this  
WP: i don’t wanna settle for second best anymore  
JK: Hey, that hurts. I’ve been friends with you wayyyy longer than brooke has.  
JK: Why am i always second best to you?  
WP: i could ask you the same fucking question dillinger, so don’t think you can pull that shit!!!  
JK: ...  
JK: Sorry, it’s been a long day and i’m not hammered enough to deal with this right now.  
WP: wanna come over and hammer a certain something at my place??? ;)  
JK: Chloe we _literally_ just got back together.  
WP: you say that as if this exact situation hasn’t happened a million times already  
JK:  
JK: You know what? Why not.

* * *

\-- indigoHipster [IH] commenced a groupchat at 22:25 [09/04/17] --  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] named groupchat contingencies \--  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] added froyoPrimadonna [FP] to the chat! --  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] added nearlyOmniscient [NO] to the chat! --  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] added wickedlyPopular [WP] to the chat! --  
  
IH: look guys, if im gonna continue this whole friendship thing, then ive got like one contingency  
NO: uh oh  
IH: you just have to answer this correctly  
IH: if I were to shout, “GOOD NEEEWWWWWWWWWWWS” into the groupchat, what would you respond with?  
WP: SHE’S DEAAAAAAAAAADDDDD  
FP: THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!!! CCC:  
FP: THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS CCCCCCC:  
WP: THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US HERE IN OZ  
IH: IS DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!  
FP: GOOOOD NEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS!!!!  
NO: GOOOOOOOOD NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS!!!!  
WP: WHAT! jenna i thought you hated wicked??!  
NO: look what can i say, i got succed in too deep  
NO: look what you’ve done to me, im musical trASH  
IH: yes!! I knew you guys were wicked trash, theres no way chloes handle was a coincidence  
WP: i wanna take offense to that  
NO: ... but?  
WP: no that was the whole sentence  
IH: it looks like this whole friendship/popularity thing will work out okay  
IH: no one mourns the wicked is such an underappreciated song  
FP: Hey guys, it’s been fun but I gotta go soon. :’c  
FP: My sister and her girlfriend are dragging me along on a shopping/road trip for spring break next week so we’re packing and stuff l:  
WP: really!?!? bring us back clothes that aren’t from fucking jersey  
NO: liiiit, can’t wait to rub the latest gucci shit in elizabeth’s d-list face  
IH: wait, your sister and her _girl_ friend?  
FP: Umm yeah, I live with them. My dad died a long time ago in a car accident and my mom’s in jail for child neglect and doesn’t have custody of us anymore, so i’ve been living with my sister and her girlfriend. L:  
FP: My sister Charlotte is like 26, and we moved out as soon as she was 18 so like 8 years ago. She met Cordelia when she was like 20 so they’ve been dating for a while now.  
NO: wow, overshare much??  
IH: wow thats.... cool, I guess  
IH: im not sure what to say here  
IH: so im guessing you guys are pretty cool with gay people huh  
WP: is that a problem  
IH: no no! its just that my parents... arent  
IH: and I never talk to my brother  
IH: so I havent been able to tell anyone that im bisexual  
NO: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
WP: you realize you just told your biggest secret to the biggest gossip in school right???  
NO: hooo boy trust me if you werent a chill friend o’ mine at least 30 people would have known about this by now  
NO: but dont worry tho, ur secrets safe w/ me. :x look at how sealed as FUCK those lips are  
IH: good  
IH: seriously though I appreciate that I can talk to you guys about this  
IH: this may seem weird but ever since 5th grade, nobodys ever gone out of their way to be friends with me  
IH: fucking connor ruined that for me  
IH: so even though youve got weird superficial ulterior motives, thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it  
IH: you guys actually want to be friends with me, and dont just think of me as the ‘pshychos sister’  
IH: so really, thanks  
FP: Awww Zoe that’s so sweet CCC’:  
NO: that’s so sweet and crap, but what i really wanna know is who your crush is  
NO: telll me  
IH: this junior whos been helping jazz band organize for the concert  
IH: shes super involved in everything and shes super nice, but she mostly talks to the band director so I havent really gotten to know her  
NO: oooohhh it’s alana beck right?  
NO: She’s kinda a motormouth im ngl  
FP: Don’t be rude l:  
WP: i dont see you denying it  
IH: whatever! its just a crush anyway, ill probably get over it soon  
IH: speaking of jazz band, I gotta go soon weve got a weekend practice tonight  
IH: by the way, are you guys planning on coming to the concert on friday  
NO: me and martha’ll be there  
WP: i can’t come that night, my dad’s forcing a stupid “family bonding” night  
FP: I’ll be there with my sister L:  
FP: Alright, see you guys later c:  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] left the groupchat at 22:49 [09/04/17] --  
  
WP: uh, i’m gonna stop by brooke’s house  
WP: we’re working on a project together for science or whatever  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] left the groupchat at 22:51 [09/04/17] --  
  
NO: alright they’re gone  
NO: c what i mean tho???  
IH: yeah chloes got it baaaad  
IH: you said theyll probably get together in senior year?  
NO: I’m pretty confident about it  
NO: Dost thou DARE question the mIGHTY jenna rolan???  
IH: hell yes I dare  
IH: I bet it’ll be the summer before senior year  
NO: damn u probably right  
IH: anyway, I wasnt kidding about the band practice thing  
IH: seeya jenna  
NO: kay see you at the concert  
  
\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] left the groupchat at 22:55 [09/04/17] --  
\-- indigoHipster [IH] disbanded contingencies at 22:55 [09/04/17] --

* * *

\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] began texting wickedlyPopular [WP]\--  
  
FP: Guess who’s got a new boyfriend!!! CCC:  
WP: congratz girl!!! who is it?? is he hot??  
FP: Aren’t you and Jake on right now? Don’t steal my boyfriend Chloe! >:L  
WP: then i suggest you better watch out!!!  
WP: but seriously, i’m just kidding :P  
WP: now spill. the beans  
FP: OKAY!!! His name is Anatole!!! CCCCC:  
WP: woah woah, you mean the senior anatole kuragin???  
WP: jenna rolan says all her info on him points in the direction of him being a fuckboy  
FP: Ugh! Chloe, this is why I waited to tell you! You always get jealous of my boyfriends! >:LLL  
WP: what!!! name one time!!  
FP: Dustin Kropp. >:c  
WP: okay, i’ll give you that one, but still!!  
FP: Ram Sweeney. >:C  
WP: okay okay, but come ON brooke, you can’t be serious about this!!!  
WP: anatole’s sister helene is such a slut!!! and her brother has been with like, half the girls in this school!!!!!  
WP: don’t do this to yourself brooke :(  
FP: You always do this!!! >:CCC  
FP: Why can’t you just be happy for me, for once? >:l  
WP: brooke, i’m just looking out for you okay?? i’m telling you, kuragin is bad news!!!!!  
WP: when you get your heart broken, AGAIN, don’t come crawling back to me!  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] ceased texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--  
  
FP: Fine! I don’t need you anyway!! >XP

* * *

\-- nearlyOmniscient [NO] began texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--  
  
NO: word on tha street says that that little kuragin shit cHEATED on u!!  
NO: Plz confirm.  
FP: How’d you know???  
NO: i didnt, but now i do!  
NO: i just had my susspiciones. kuragin is shiftier than a white van @ a local parcc  
NO: Also, you haven’t txtd anybody for like a week now.  
NO: it wansn’t that hard  
FP: Look, if you’re here to make fun of me, you can just GO!!!  
FP: I get it, “Stupid Brooke was wrong, AGAIN!”  
NO: don’t worry brooke, i only came here to get 1 piece of info, but i’ve already got it.  
FP: Oh really??? Was it to see if I was an idiot!!??  
NO: NO.  
NO: It was to see if u were ok  
NO: u clearly r not.  
NO: i’m ur friend 2 ok??? u can always talk to me if you need to.  
NO: now spill your guts sister.  
FP: I honestly thought this was going to work out! He just seemed so nice and I got so lost in his eyes and he always told me he loved me all the time!  
FP: Then he just stands me up on a date one night and I find him all over that freshman Natasha Rostova at the back of the restaurant!  
FP: What am I doing wrong Jenna? Do guys just not like me?  
NO: it’s not your fault brooke.  
NO: kuragin is a slimy bastard and it’s his fault okay?  
FP: But what does Natasha have that I don’t? She’s like barely 14!  
NO: wait a mcfrickin second. isn’t kuragin a senior??? he’s like 18!!!  
NO: so apparently kuragin’s not only a manwHORE but he’s also a creeper too.  
NO: Good 2 know, can’t wait to fukin EXPOSE that sonuva _beeotch_ at lunch 2day  
FP: Thanks Jenna, but you really don’t have to do that.  
NO: bby, you KNOW i do. gossiping is in my genes probably  
NO: but there’s still something on ur mind right????  
NO: U’re still not punctuating sentences w/ emojis so i know smthings RONG here.  
FP: Why do you always have to know everything.  
FP: Okay fine, I’m just mad because Chloe was right again and I didn’t listen to her and she’s going to be all like, “I told you so!!” when I talk to her again and I literally just cannot deal with that!  
NO: i got you covered brookey  
NO: she won’t b able 2 talk shit abt breakups since chloe and dillinger are off again this week.  
NO: which is a surprise to no 1 except maybe chloe and dillinger  
NO: don’t worry your pretty little head about megabitch one bit kay?  
FP: Hey, Chloe’s still my friend, don’t call her a bitch!  
FP: But seriously Jenna, thanks for listening to me L`:  
NO: Awwww, theres the brooke i know :’’’)  
NO: ure 2 *pure* 4 this world you know that rite????  
FP: Aw, thanks Jen, ilysm <3  
NO: same brooke <3  
FP: Alright, bye Jenna L:  
NO: ttyl  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] ceased texting nearlyOmniscient [NO] \--

* * *

\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] began texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--  
  
WP: brooke  
WP: i heard from steph who heard from lacy who heard from nicole who heard from kat who heard from jenna rolan that kuragin the fuckboi cheated on you  
WP: is this true???  
WP: if so, i will fucking end that son of a bitch for you  
FP: Chlo, just drop it okay  
FP: It’s fine, I’m fine  
WP: nope, not accepting that bs right now  
WP: if you were actually okay then you’d be using way more emojis than needed  
FP: Fine! Anatole cheated on me, are you happy now?  
WP: i told you he would break your heart brooke, how come you never listen to me!?!?!  
FP: Because you always frickin do this Chloe!! >:LLLL  
FP: Like, I know he cheated on me alright, you don’t need to rub it in okay!!??  
FP: I already know I was dumb for trusting him, just like I always am, but maybe I just wanted to believe that it would be alright and that he would love me the way I wanted him to okay? Is that really so much to ask?  
FP: Why do you get to talk smack about my break ups anyway!? You and Jake break up like every week or something!!  
WP: well at least we always make up after that!! newsflash: i can actually keep a semi steady relationship!!!  
WP: unlike SOME people!!!!  
FP: >:O  
FP: You know what Chloe?  
FP: Fuck.  
FP: You.  
  
\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] ceased texting wickedlyPopular [WP] \--

* * *

\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] began texting nearlyOmniscient [NO] \--  
  
WP: has brooke texted you at all?  
NO: Wow.  
NO: you’re really rude when ure worried yanno that???  
NO: like, we haven’t talked in ages and I didnt even get a “hey jenna” or a “sup jenna, hows it hangin?” or even a “just checking in on my awesome pal!!!! :)))”  
NO: I’m taking this as a personal offence  
NO: shame on you  
NO: shame on your heifer  
WP: stfu  
WP: there’s a point to this conversation  
WP: brooke  
WP: won’t  
WP: talk to me  
NO: sux 2 b u  
NO: Y do u care so much anywyays??  
NO: i sense fEeLs afoot!!!  
WP: you sense nothing jenna rolan!!!! NOTHING!!!!!  
NO: cmonnnnn we talkt about this already!!!!!  
NO: y can’’t you just TELL her allready1!!!!?/  
WP: No.  
NO:  
NO:  
NO: woah that was like an out of body experience.  
NO: everything about the way you typed that was wrong.  
NO: ure _seriously_ messed up about this arentcha  
NO: I’m telling you, just tell her you like her  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] blocked nearlyOmniscient [NO] \--

* * *

\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] began texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--  
  
WP: you have no idea how hard it is to say this  
WP: the things i do for you  
WP: i’m sorry  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] ceased texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] \--

\-- froyoPrimadonna [FP] began texting wickedlyPopular [WP] at 05:12 --  
  
FP: Hey. :l  
WP: do you forgive me????  
FP: I know I shouldn’t.... but I can’t stay mad at you C:  
FP: You were kind of right anyway l:  
FP: I think I’m gonna stay single for a while, it’s not like I need a guy to be happy when I’ve got all my friends c:  
WP: woah woah, i was not kinda right!!  
WP: seriously, i already know what i said was crappy :(  
WP: so stop trying to make me feel better about it!!  
FP: Okay, sorry for acknowledging a point you made in an argument :P  
WP: so we’re good now?  
FP: Yeah <3  
WP: ... <3  
WP: alright, i wanna go back to sleep  
WP: never wake me up before 6 am ever again  
FP: I get that, beauty sleep is important. Good night!! ccc:  
  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] ceased texting froyoPrimadonna [FP] at 05:17 --

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] unblocked nearlyOmniscient [NO] \--  
\-- wickedlyPopular [WP] began texting nearlyOmniscient [NO] at 05:18 --  
  
WP: alright you’re right  
WP: i’m just  
WP: not ready to tell her yet  
NO: i knew u’d unblok me eventually  
NO: now open up about your feeelz  
WP: alright, it’s a long story though and I’M the one telling it, so sit tight and shut up until i finish  


 

_\-- To Be Continued --_

**Author's Note:**

> \- chloe's whole story thing'll get told ~~when i come up with it~~ another day  
> \- writers burnout made me write some girly angst  
> \- i needed to cool down  
> \- i tried my hand at the groupchat fics that make this fandom popular  
> \- i hope it's pretty good but at the same time i know people aren't satisfied unless everyone is out of character and regurgitating meme after meme and there's not an actual plot  
> \- i love groupchat fics but only some of them are written well at all  
> \- if you like them then go check out mathsgeek314's who actually texts people this much  
> \- it's much better than this piece of garbage  
> \- i know i said a christine one shot, but its harder than i expected so i need to come up with a solid backstory for christine so thatll happen later  
> \- brooke chloe and jenna need more appreciation in this fandom  
> \- i crave validation so lemme know how you feel in a comment


End file.
